on confession

I thought I would share a quote from John Chrysostom that we discussed in our Desert Spirituality class today. I thought it to be a very helpful reminder about confession (particularly since we evangelicals don’t like to do too often).

Why are you ashamed, why do you blush, tell me, to admit your sins? You are not speaking to a human being, are you, who might reproach you? You are not confessing to your fellow servant, are you, who might expose you? No, rather to the Master, who protects and cherishes you, to the physician you are showing your wound. He is not unaware, is He, even if you do not confess, since He understands everything even before it is done? So why do you not confess? The sin does not become more burdensome because of your self-accusation, does it? Rather it becomes easier and ligher. For this reason He wishes you to confess, not in order to punish you, but in order to forgive you: not in order that He may learn your sin (how could that be, since He knows already?), but in order that you may learn how great a debt He forgives you. If you do not confess the greatness of the debt, you do not discover the excess of grace. ‘I do not force you,’ He says, ‘to come into the middle of the theater and place many witnesses around you; tell your sin to Me alone in private, so that I may treat your wound and relieve your pain.’” (Chrystostom, John. On Wealth and Poverty. trans. Catharine P. Roth. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1984. p.89)

I love the image of Christ the physician healing our wounds – he is our Doctor, our Physician.

to chew on

Here are a number of questions that came up during desert spirituality class this morning. These are things that I need to spend a lot of time processing. I invite you to reflect upon them as well.

Who taught me to pray? How do I go about praying? How do I pray? What are the habit patterns that surround our prayer life? When do I pray? What goes on when I pray? Is there a rhyme and reason? What is my prayer history – is it easy or hard? Has it been successful? What does successful prayer look like? What have been some struggles in prayer? Have there been times when I stopped praying b/c of doubt or something else? When did these times come? Track my prayer history. Have you sensed a time when my passions interrupted prayer? What about the overarching question of praying continually – unceasing prayer (1 Thess. 5)? How do we go about praying unceasingly?

And a few questions about what it means to be “holy”?

What does a holy life actually look like in the 21st century? What characterizes the holy life? What would God have us be? How does holiness take flesh in normal everyday life? What does our/my church teach that holiness looks like?

Happy pondering.

A word from the desert

I thought I would share just a few “words” from the desert fathers living mostly in Egypt. The desert fathers and mothers were wise and experienced Christians who were ascetics – Christians “exercising” their faith. People would travel to them and would often say, “Abba, speak a word so that I might be saved.” They didn’t think the Abba’s words were some how divinely inspired but were a wise word of life to be followed. We’ve been chewing these in class and so I post some of them for your chewing. Try to read them slowly and ask what is in the word or saying that is instructful for our life in Christ.

And he was silent for a little, and poured water into a cup. And he said, ‘look at the water.’ And it was cloudy. And after a little he said again, “now look, see how clear the water has become.” And when they leant over the water, they saw their faces as in a glass. And then he said to them: “So it is with the man who lives among men. He does not see his own sins because of the turmoil. But when he is at rest, especially in the desert, then he sees his sins (Part II, 16, p. 43).

Seamen beginning a voyage set the sails and look for a favourable wind – and later they meet a contrary wind. Just because the wind has turned, they do not throw the cargo overboard or abandon ship: they wait a little and battle against the storm until they can again set a direct course. And when we run into headwinds, let us put the cross for our sail, and we shall voyage through the world in safety (VII.18.87)

Amma Syncletice: “It is dangerous for a man to try teaching before he is trained in the good life. A man whose house is about to fall down may invite travelers inside to refresh them, but instead they are hurt in the collapse of the house. It is the same with teachers who have not carefully trained themselves in the good life: they ruin their hearers as well as themselves. Their mouth invites to salvation, their way of life leads to ruin.

Three brothers once came to an old man in Scete. One of them asked him: ‘Abba, I have memorized the Old and New Testaments.’ And the ld man answered: ‘You have filled the air with words.’ And the second said, ‘I have written the Old and New Testaments with my own hand.’ But the old man said: ‘And you have filled the window-ledge with manuscripts.’ And the third said: ‘The grass is growing up my chimney.’ And the old man answered: ‘And you have driven away hospitality.’

Abba Joseph asked Abba Poeman: ‘How should we fast?’ And Abba Poeman said: ‘I would have everyone eat a little less than he wants, every day.’ Abba Joseph said to him: ‘When you were a young man, did you not fast for two days on end?’ And the old man said to him: ‘Believe me, I used to fast three days on end, even for a week. But the great elders have tested all these things, and they found that it is good to eat something every day, but on some days a little less. And they have shown us that this is the king’s highway, for it is easy and light.

I would love to hear some thoughts or feedback about these words from the Abbas and Ammas.

Imitate me…

Paul says to the church in Corinth, “I urge you to imitate me.” (1 Corinthians 6:14)

Imitation was a central idea to the desert monks living in the third and fourth centuries. In class we are exploring this particularly reading The Life of Antony. Antony is considered to be the founder of desert spirituality as well as the ideal ascetic. (An ascetic is simply someone who exercises (askesis) his faith.) Early in Antony’s life we we see Antony imitating others:

If he [Antony] heard of a zealous soul anywhere, like a wise bee he left to search him out, nor did he return home before he had seen him; and only when he had received from him, as it were, provisions for his journey to virtue, did he go back. … He [Antony], in turn, subjected himself in all sincerity to the pious men whom he visited and made it his endeavor to learn for his own benefit just how each was superior to him in zeal and ascetic practice. … Having thus taken his fill, he would return to his own place of asceticism. Then he assimilated in himself what he had obtained from each and devoted all his energies to realizing in himself the virtues of all.”

“Like a wise bee” Antony sought out the wise men living in his area to learn from them, to subject himself to them, and then to imitate them. A wise bee flies from flower to flower sucking the sweet nectar of each. How do we learn to live like Jesus? Athanasius (the author of The Life of Antony) says, learn from those are living like him now. Be mentored, be led. Suck the sweet nectar of those who are faithfully following Jesus in their own lives.

We are all following someone; we are all patterning our lives after someone. The question is, “Who are we following? Who are we seeking to imitate in the spiritual life?” This is one of the most decisions we can make – who will we be shaped by?

I remember when I was in Young Life, we talked about this a lot. We (as YL leaders) were to be like Jesus (in our thoughts and in our lives) so that we could guide students to Jesus as well. This is the path of the desert. Who will be our guide to Jesus and to godly living? Who will WE guide to Jesus and to godly living?